I'm getting married next year.  I've heard from everyone that the wedding is mine to plan and let others with ideas in their heads for my wedding be damned, let them plan the funeral.  However, it seems everyone also has an opinion and what's worse is that they also think I should be listening to them.  Gah.  If I had it my way I would elope but apparently that's not an option.  Can't everyone just focus on the honeymoon instead??

 

 

Its April and I'm ready for next year.  What good can come from the other 8 months when the first four have been so horrific?  I don't really want to skip to next year.  I just want to relive the first half of this one.  Lets see, what would I change?  Probably would not have blown so much money on junk, would have stayed on a diet, wouldn't have tried to help a friend in need so she could turn around and bite my ass with it and ruin the bestest best friendship I've ever had, argued less with The Boy, stayed commited to the roller derby, not been so freaking sensitive to my mom and sister.  That about covers it.  What can I change now, well I can stay on a diet, start saving some money, just be happy with the relationship I have with The Boy b/c I know I don't need any more of a commitment to anyone than I already have with him, forget about the roller derby and focus on getting back into school, take my mom and sister with a grain or pound of salt.  There, that will solve everything.  Guess I forgot about the friend fucking me over.  Well, forgetting that will solve that problem too.  I need a magic eraser to just void out this kind of crap b/c I don't want to deal with it and I shouldn't have to put up with it.  She's supposed to be my friend.  My Best Friend.  How can she treat me so badly when she knows how much I care?  Who needs enemies with friends like her.  I'm a casualty of her bad marriage.  She wants to blame me for making her realize how unhappy she is, so be it.  All these stupid cliches keep popping into my head.  Like the truth hurts.  I thought she was so much smarter than this.  I thought I was too.  Stupidity is stupid. 

What am I doing this weekend?  I don't know.  I really, really don't.